Hello Carpe Noctem, 
I am member of a 6-years-old French team dedicated to PvP and TvT (~ 30 active players per events). We are interesting in discovering other teams who want to do TvT with a "realistic" game-play. We never play coop.
Well, realism is a subjective perception, so I prefer the word "plausible" because it is difficult to pretend to do like real operations 
A few words about our game-play :
- No respawn (but ACE3 unconsciousness)
- Elite mode, no 3D view, no HUD
- Zoom activated, can be discussed
- Radio com via TFAR
- RHS-only vehicles and stuff (we don’t like A3 futuristic flavor)
- 2 hours-long missions with various objectives
- When you die, you can enjoy the show with Spectator Script, or leave the server if you want.
Our modset is:
- ACE3 (custom version with a patch on basic medical module: medics have to inject epinephrine to let guys be back in the game when unconscious, no magic awaken like it is by default)
- CBA_A3
- CUP_Terrains_Core (if required by additional maps)
- CUP_Terrains_Maps (if required)
- RHS_Compat (ACE3 optional .pbo to make RHS stuff ACE-compatible)
- RHSAFRF
- RHSUSAF
- RHSGREF
- task_force_radio
We currently are engaged in a TvT campaign called Mangusta with an Italian team: 2RGT.
If you want to have a better idea of what our missions look like, you can find all global information about the campaign, and scenarii for mission 1, and mission 2.
We tried to start a new adventure with a German team, but the team has not enough people, so we have a mission ready to play if you are interested:
all the details about Strait of Dardanelles.
So, just to be clear, we have no public server, we play only on private servers on planned events with another team on a specific mission. The mission is prepared by each team, and we personally spend a dedicated night to elaborate a tactical plan and study the mission. We never play twice the same mission, but we build a new one for each event. It is the case for 6 years now in ArmA. Historically, OFCRA was divided into 2 different sides (BLUEFOR & REDFOR) and we had official campaign internally, I mean OFCRA BLUEFOR vs OFCRA REDFOR. But in TvT, we let the opponent choose the side they want, so we publish the mission template and scenario, and there is no problem about unfair mission design
But now, we are only ~30 active players, so it becomes less interesting… and prefer 30v30 or more (we organized 108 hours of public events in the FR community in 2015, so we are used to organize 40v40 events, with the right infrastructure and so on…)
I had the idea to make you this proposal thanks to Dachi’s post here: Looking for Groups for TvT Events. - ARMA 3 - MULTIPLAYER - Bohemia Interactive Forums
So, I don’t know if you are interested in such games, but we are pleased to encounter new teams and players, with mature behavior, and nice guys who are looking for hard fight in A3, as I read on your website, so voilÃ
If you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask !
Thank you for your attention !
Galevsky